This week: the surprisingly aggressive advice we are often given when our bodies start changing in midlife.
Also, Benny hits his limit approximately 50 feet from home.
🍽 The Main Course: When Healthy Feels Mean
I’m not kidding when I say that every day I see versions of the same question:
“I’m doing everything right and my body is changing anyway. Help.”
A recent post in a menopause group especially stuck with me. A 50 year old woman described gaining 40 pounds seemingly out of nowhere despite doing trail ultras, lifting 4x a week, eating “well,” working with multiple practitioners, trying supplements, getting lab testing, and trying GLP-1s.
She sounded exhausted. Defeated. Panicked.
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking “Why does my body suddenly feel impossible?” ...you probably understand the fear beneath a post like that.
What stood out to me most, though, wasn’t even the post itself.
It was the avalanche of responses. Over 100 comments.
Most of them some version of:
do more.
try harder.
restrict differently.
optimize better.
push further.
Rarely did anyone say:
“You’re doing too much.”
And I get it. Truly. Because when the old formula stops working, it’s terrifying.
Especially if you've spent decades being rewarded for discipline.
For being the woman who could push through exhaustion.
The one who could override hunger.
The one who could stay “on track” no matter what.
It can feel deeply unsettling when the body you trusted, or at least understood, suddenly stops responding the way it always has.
Peri/menopause shows up and suddenly the strategies that once felt effective start feeling… expensive. Recovery takes longer. Sleep gets worse. Energy gets shakier. The body feels less forgiving.
Instead of questioning the strategy, we question ourselves. That’s the part I wish we talked about more. That the response we are encouraged to have toward our changing bodies is… attack mode.
More tracking. More restriction. More cardio. More intensity. More fasting. More trying to force the body back into behaving.
Basically… respond to stress with more stress.
~~~~~
I’m not saying that we should stop exercising and disappear into a bubble bath for six months. Strength, movement, cardiovascular fitness, muscle mass, recovery capacity — they're all hugely important in midlife.
But I do think it's easy to cross the line from supporting ourselves… to fighting ourselves.
There’s a felt difference between:
“I’m supporting my health”
and
“I’m panicking.”
Panic has a way of making “healthy” feel increasingly aggressive.
And your body may finally be done negotiating through punishment.
💨 Flavor Boost: If This Disappeared Tomorrow....
If one of your “healthy habits” disappeared tomorrow… how would you feel?
I mean, honestly.
If you couldn’t:
-
track
-
close your rings
-
do your workout
-
hit your protein goal
-
weigh yourself
-
intermittent fast
-
“burn it off”
-
eat the “safe” version
-
control the menu
-
compensate the next day
…what would come up?
Relief?
Anxiety?
Guilt?
Panic?
Freedom?
Failure?
Sometimes the emotional attachment to the habit is worth paying attention to.
🐶 Sweet Moment(s): Oh, Benny
Intuitive movement.
Dramatic Recovery. 🤣
Until next time - more dogs, less dogma. Always.
Carol
P.S. New here? Welcome! Curious about past issues? You can find them, here.
